On Boys and Patriarchy
You probably heard about Ashley Judd‘s recent Daily Beast post calling out the media for nasty judgments of her appearance. Ms. Judd points the finger at the patriarchy but clarifies that “Patriarchy is not men. Patriarchy is a system in which both women and men participate.”
Indeed it is. And this system cannot be overcome by ignoring male stereotypes and “acculturated boyness,”[i] which is what happens more often than not in discussions of patriarchy and the fight for gender equality. It is important to acknowledge the impact of patriarchy on boys and men, as Ms. Judd does when she says that males “are equally objectified and ridiculed, according to heteronormative definitions of masculinity that deny the full and dynamic range of their personhood.”
Patriarchy is learned, of course. Boys are not born sexist. If they become sexist, it is because of the popular and family culture in which they are raised.
It’s true that popular culture is largely created by men who run entertainment conglomerates and toy companies, but the attitudes of these men have been shaped by the same forces that affect boys now.
Hal Jordan from the new Green Lantern series. Image from www.cartoonnetwork.com.
Our culture teaches boys that physical strength and dominance are the most valuable traits a man can possess. Just look at the average animated superhero, like Hal Jordan here, or listen to the language used in a typical sports broadcast, where athletes are valued for being “tough” as much as for having any skill. In cartoons targeted to boys, action is often delivered in the form of violence, reinforcing the link between male heroism and physical dominance.
At the same time, children’s pop culture trades on stereotypes of both sexes and often relegates female characters (if they are present) to small, supporting roles. Rarely are female characters protagonists or heroes. Those females who are considered heroes, like Wonder Woman, are never the star of a program. They are part of a team, not leaders or solo heroes, and they tend to be highly sexualized. In short, kids’ pop culture reinforces many aspects of patriarchy–men are shown as dominant and women, when present, are diminished and devalued.
Even children who watch little television or film are not immune to the influence of popular culture. Its tentacles extend beyond television and cinema to book shelves, toy stores, and clothes. It is then shared through conversation with peers. To wit, a 5-year-old girl who visited our home last week told me that she couldn’t believe my son “plays with girl toys.”
Children learn some of their most important gender lessons in the home and from family members, but our culture can influence parents’ and caregivers’ attitudes as well. Here are some examples from my experience. I once read a parenting “advice” column that referred to boys who cry “too much” as “wimps.” I was recently party to a conversation about a young boy who wasn’t interested in sounding out the words in his introductory reading book. A well-educated parent who calls herself a feminist chalked this up to “boy laziness” and noted that boys typically cannot sit still long enough to read. And I was once told by a father when an older boy was swatting and shoving a younger boy on his baseball team that it was “the law of the playground.” In other words, this boy was not misbehaving or being a problem, he was just being a boy.
How can we combat patriarchy if we don’t address male stereotypes like those described above and invite boys and men to become part of the solution?
Instead of disregarding the male gender stereotypes that surround boys from birth onward, we should be examining the culture we live in and the messages it sends to children of both sexes. We should be proactive in educating boys about gender bias, just as many of us are with girls.
Like girls, boys need lessons in media literacy and positive examples of males and females in their entertainment and literature. And they need to be taught to value people for who they are, not for their ability to conform to preconceived (and archaic) notions of what boys, girls, men, and women should be.
[i] Landsberg, Michele. “Cultivating the Human in the Boy.” Canadian Perspectives on Men &Masculinities. (Don Mills: Oxford University Press Canada, 2012.) 2-11.
Earth Day Books for Boys and Girls
My son and I have been reading lots of books about recycling and I wanted to share some of them in time for Earth Day. I fell behind a bit, but, motivated by Mighty Girls who posted their top children’s books on the environment “featuring Mighty Girls” earlier this week, I have compiled a list of some of our environmentally-themed favourites. Some of these books show boys as caring stewards of the earth and others focused on garbage and recycling, the passions of my younger son. All are available in the new Achilles Effect amazon bookstore, although a couple of them are only available used.
Picture Books
The Salamander Room by Anne Mazar - A tale of a boy with a vivid imagination, The Salamander Room by Anne Mazer tells the story of a boy who brings home a salamander and dreams of transforming his room into a suitable environment for his new friend. The protagonist is very thoughtful and caring, and an excellent role model for boys.
Curious George Plants a Tree by H.A. Rey–George gets himself into trouble by being a little overzealous in his attempts to recycle. A fun story with an environmental theme.
The Snail and the Whale by Julia Donaldson–The adventurous (and female) snail in this story explores the natural world on the tail of a whale. The environmental angle comes about when the whale loses his bearings because of excessive human noise in the water from jet-skis and motorboats. A group of school kids work with the local townspeople to free the whale.
Don’t Throw That Away by Lara Bergen–A lift-the-flap book featuring a female recycling “hero.”
Two Little Gardeners by Margaret Wise Brown–A little boy and girl carefully tend to their garden. The book hearkens back to a simpler time as the children plant seeds, weed by hand, build a scarecrow and “raba-mole” to scare away pests, and then harvest and preserve all the delicious food from their garden. One of our all-time favourites.
A Tree is Nice by Marc Simont–Using images of boys and girls, this book shows how enjoyable trees are. It ends with a nice sequence on the joys of planting a tree and watching it grow.
Little Farm by the Sea by Kay Chorao–Not about the environment specifically, but it certainly helps kids understand why it is important to support local food producers. It is a lovely story of a family farm throughout the seasons. Sadly, it is out of print and only available used, but it is worth seeking out either from a used books vendor or the library.
See Inside Recycling and Rubbish by Alex Frith–For anyone who likes recycling, this book has it all. Through very intricate pictures and lots of flaps to lift, it shows everything from the collection of various recyclables to sorting and processing. Rubbish facts at the end tell kids how important it is to reduce waste.
Brady Brady and the Cleanup Hitters by Mary Shaw and Chuck Temple–Part of the Brady Brady series, this book tells the story of a boy who sees a problem (litter all over his school’s baseball diamond) and decides to do something about it. Along the way, he motivates his friends to help clean up the entire schoolyard. (May only be available used.)
The Lorax by Dr. Seuss–The classic tale of the dangers of over-consumption of natural resources.
For Older Readers
Noah Zarc: Mammoth Trouble by D. Robert Pease–For mature readers, this story shows a future after Earth has been destroyed through human negligence. It is not all doom and gloom though. The protagonist and his family time travel back to Earth before the “Cataclysm” and rescue animals, bringing them back to the future where they can live happily in specially designed biospheres.
Canada Recycles by Peter Cook and Laura Suzuki–Detailed discussion of the hows and whys of recycling. Published in 2012, it is up to date with technology.
National Geographic Kids’ Almanac–This book covers a wide range of subjects pertaining to nature, the environment, culture, and history. One of the biggest sections in the 2012 Canadian edition is “Amazing Animals,” which talks about pets, insects, big cats, sea creatures, dinosaurs, and animals in peril. A section on Going Green covers subjects like green technologies, pollution, and global warming. A 2013 edition comes out in May, 2012.
How the “Boy Code” Plays Out at School
“Why can’t as a collective people we admit that so much of the way we see the natural attributes given to boys and girls is directly a consequence of the messages that society sends?”
That question comes from a post written on the More Compassion blog, in which the author discusses the assumption that boys are “naturally” wild and rambunctious. I posted a link to this blog on my Facebook page and it received a lot of positive feedback. It seems many people support the author’s critique of the hoary old argument that “boys will be boys” (read: loud and out of control, especially in comparison to girls who, equally stereotyped, are believed to be “naturally” quieter and more deferential.)
The widely held notion that “boys will be boys” is problematic for a few fairly obvious reasons: it perpetuates stereotypes of boys and men as aggressive and rebellious; it excuses boys for rowdy or generally bad behaviour—a freedom not granted to girls who are expected to behave perfectly all the time; and it calls into question the masculinity of “good” boys. It is the last point that I will address in this post, particularly as it pertains to the school environment.
I confess that there is a personal angle here. One of my sons is gifted and the other is very nearly so. Both are excellent students. Given all that I have read about male stereotypes and their manifestation among children, I am concerned about how my sons will be treated as they progress through school, and for good reason.
Children’s popular culture glorifies bratty boys who treat school with disdain while insinuating that smart, well-behaved boys are geeky or girly. As many researchers have pointed out, these pop culture lessons transfer to reality. In Real Boys, William Pollack describes a “boy code” that compels boys to prove their masculinity by acting tough and macho, engaging in risky or daring behaviour, and striving for dominance and power. The boy code also dictates that boys should avoid all “sissy stuff”[i] which, presumably, includes sitting still and listening in school.
Then there is Ellen Jordan’s “warrior discourse” which I cited in this passage in my book:
“…’the warrior discourse’ (which comes from the mass media) is the source of most boys’ understanding of masculinity. This discourse offers two extremes of masculinity. In the first position are the warriors, heroes, or leaders. The warriors’ masculinity is unquestioned and framed by the less manly behaviour of the subordinate group—the wimps and nerds.
Because they do not fit the warrior ideal, the weaker boys create their own version of masculinity, defining the term as “not female.” Using this alternative definition of masculinity enables them to “redress insecurities and ambivalences about their ability to be male.” In other words, the less traditionally masculine boys prove their manhood by ensuring that they never act like girls.”[ii]
Again we can assume that behaving nicely is among the “girly” actions that some boys try to avoid.
Wanting to know whether my fears for my sons were founded, I did a bit of research into how smart, studious boys fare at school.
Researchers are just beginning to examine the rates of bullying among gifted and high-achieving students specifically. Although there are few studies and they use very small sample sizes, it seems that bullying and victimization rates may not be any higher for gifted and high-achieving students than they are for other students.[iii]
It is comforting to know that high intelligence might not necessarily cause a smart child to be bullied, but this study does not take into account the fears that boys may have of becoming a target, and the adaptations they undertake to avoid being picked on because they are smart.
One adaptation is underachievement. Barbara Kerr, author of Smart Boys: Talent, Manhood, and the Search for Meaning stated in a keynote address delivered at the College of William and Mary that extreme underachievers in school are 90% male. And not all of these boys are underachieving because they are incapable. As Ms. Kerr also noted, “[a]lthough there are many causes for underachievement…there is ample evidence that one of them is male social coping with gender identity expectations. In contexts in which achievement is associated with nerdhood and weakness, underachievement becomes a way of asserting independence, strength, and masculinity.”[iv]
Rebellious behaviour or “mucking around in class” is another option for boys who want to hide their smarts or appear like they don’t care about school. To look “cool” some boys will disrupt class and harass or ridicule boys who do well in school.[v] (This type of behaviour is reflected in pop culture in the many t-shirts marketed to young boys that promote an anti-school attitude and in the antics of characters like the protagonists in the Captain Underpants series of books.)
Athletics are another refuge for smart boys, if they are lucky. As Kerr said in her keynote speech, “Gifted boys learn very early that if they are smart, they had better be smart and athletic; athletic ability makes intelligence acceptable.” And a study cited in The Independent noted that high-achieving boys can maintain popularity if they are good at sports.[vi] As for brainy boys who aren’t athletic, it appears they have the deck stacked against them.
So this is what the boy code hath wrought: boys who are afraid to show they are smart lest they be considered “geeky,” or worse, “girly,” for following the rules and doing well in school.
Michele Landsberg wrote in the book Canadian Perspectives on Men & Masculinities that studious and intelligent boys are at risk of being cast out “to the outer realms of frozen darkness” as they enter higher grades at school.[vii] Her statement may sound extreme, but the research I read seems to concur. Boys who don’t want to be ostracized develop coping mechanisms like those described above. According to Kerr, these adaptations can begin as early as the third grade and continue into high school, allowing boys to maintain their “gender identity at the expense of [their] future goals,” with some even allowing themselves to fail at school to prove their masculinity. The effects can also be felt at the postsecondary level. Kerr notes that many gifted men with a passion for arts, humanities, or literature abandon those interests in university, choosing instead to major in the more “lucrative—or perhaps manly”—fields of engineering, medicine, law, and business.
This situation shows the incredible damage caused by the macho imperative that surrounds boys from birth onward. And it needs to change.
Instead of being inculcated into some antiquated boy code, boys need to be taught to value themselves for who they are. They need to take pride in their intelligence and scholastic achievements without feeling that their manhood is compromised by every A+ they earn. It’s a tough message to get across in a North American society where “a spirit of anti-intellectualism” is “rampant,”[viii] but it’s one that must be communicated to boys.
We can start with the language we use in reference to boys. Instead of the vocabulary of the boy code, we need to include in our description of boys the positive attributes typically associated with females—things like creativity, sensitivity, affection, and compassion. To start this rethink of how we view boys, I created a word cloud for my Facebook timeline that has been shared widely:
Presenting boys with a diverse range of role models can also help alter their view of what they can be. Beyond sports stars, we should introduce boys to men who have excelled by using their minds and following their creative impulses, like the few I included in this brief video: http://bit.ly/Hznsyg
Small steps, yes, but important ones that will help free boys from the iron grip of the boy code.
[i] Pollack, William. Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood. New York: Random House, 1998.
[ii] Jordan, Ellen. (1995) “Fighting Boys and Fantasy Play: the construction of masculinity in the early years of school.” Gender and Education 7, no. 1, (1995): 69 – 86, cited in The Achilles Effect (Bloomington, lN: iUniverse, 2011).
[iii] Parker, Megan R., “A Comparison of Bullying and Victimization Rates among Gifted and High-Achieving Students. ” PhD diss., University of Tennessee, 2010. http://trace.tennessee.edu/utk_graddiss/736.
[iv] Kerr, Barbara. Gender and Genius. Keynote Address to the National Curriculum Networking Conference, College of William and Mary, March 7, 2000.
[v] Martino, Wayne. “Mucking Around in Class, Giving Crap, and Acting Cool: Adolescent Boys Enacting Masculinities at School.” Canadian Journal of Education. 25, no. 2 (2000):102-112.
[vi] Wilce, Hilary. “Bullied boys: Why bright lads are being picked on” The Independent,May 14, 2009.
[vii] Landsberg, Michele. “Cultivating the Human in the Boy.” Canadian Perspectives on Men &Masculinities. (Don Mills: Oxford University Press Canada, 2012.) 2-11.
[viii] Robinson, Nancy M. “The Social World of Gifted Children and Youth,” in Handbook of Giftedness in Children. New York: Springer Science + Business Media, 2008.
